I have been thinking about this blog a lot this month. One of my goals for January was to post something every day. A week or so in, I changed it to weekdays because weekends were impossible. I managed to post 4/5 days last week, but I never got past the snow. I guess what I’m saying is that my heart just isn’t in it anymore. And to be completely honest, I am using the blog to avoid the harder writing assignment I’ve given myself: songwriting. I know that we all have the same number of hours in a day as Beyoncé, but she’s got a full-time staff and entourage, so it’s not really the same, but my point is this: there are only so many hours in a day, and this month has shown me that I need to prioritize them.
I’ve kept a journal since I was a teenager. One day, I will burn them all because they’re only for me, and right now, this blog feels like it’s only for me. A lot has changed since I was blogging a few years ago. I’ve moved platforms, quit all my social media, and lost my blogging community–no one does it anymore. This last month has felt a bit like busking in the subway; I’m not sure anyone is listening. And if I were doing this just for myself, that would be okay, but I used to do it to feel connected. Like I said, I’ve got my journal.
I’m sure I’ll keep coming back every so often, and I’ll post this week to finish my goal for the month because sometimes it’s nice to feel like you’re talking to someone other than yourself, like an imaginary friend, I suppose. Then again, that’s kind of everyone on the Internet, isn’t it?