health & happiness relationships

7 Anti-Valentine’s Day gifts

February 8, 2013

Valentine’s Day is next week. But let’s be honest, not everyone is super psyched about. Maybe you’re in a relationship, maybe you’re not. Maybe you’re looking for a way to say, “I love you,” or maybe you’re looking for a way to say, “Yeah . . . not so much.” Don’t worry, friends, I’ve got you covered.

Dumped Bittersweets
If you’re feeling bold, maybe tonight’s the night to tell your Valentine how you really feel. These heart-shaped candies include such gems as SHE IS 22! and HE HAS A JOB. Yeah, you really can’t go wrong here. Dumped Bittersweets, $10.

Venus Flytrap
Venus was the Roman goddess of love, and this plant is named after her, so it’s totally romantic. Obviously. Plus, those expensive fresh-cut roses are going to die in a few days anyway. Venus Flytrap, $8.

The Ex
Don’t bother going out to a fancy dinner, cook at home! With this knife set, you can totally impress your sweetheart with your mad knife skillz. Boom. The Ex, $85.

Jello hearts
Nothing says love like hearts, and nothing is classier than a Jell-O, so you’ll knock it out of the park with this twofer. Just imagine the look on your boo’s face when you serve this up after dinner – without utensils, of course. Heart Gelatin Mold, $7.

Very bad poetry
Pablo Neruda who? Exactly. Let someone else speak the words in your heart. Unless this collection moves and inspires you to write your own bad poetry, then that’s probably better. Very Bad Poetry by Ross & Kathryn Petras, $12.

Sexy mouse
Your special lady friend will be so surprised when instead of a boring old teddy bear, you give her a real stuffed animal. Anthropomorphic Mouse Taxidermy Class, $60.

Stripper candle
“If you don’t know what a stripper smells like, just imagine the perfume counter at your local department store times a thousand . . . plus some baby powder.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. Amazeballs. The Stripper Candle, $13.

So, you’d better get shopping before all these awesome gifts sell out because then what are you going to do? (Click on the photos for purchase info. You’re welcome.)

Have a fantastic weekend, friends.

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  • Reply Hannah Fugate February 8, 2013 at 2:50 PM

    Thanks Melissa you really helped me out this year! Love your posts.

    • Reply Melissa February 8, 2013 at 4:24 PM

      Thanks, Hannah, I’m so glad! xoxo

  • Reply abdiel smith September 6, 2013 at 6:06 AM

    I really like the idea of those small quotes on those candies.

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