mommyhood

Make your own mama survival kit

February 4, 2013

Girl scout

Girl scouts are always prepared. I was a girl scout once, and not a very good one, if I do say so myself. I hated selling cookies. My cakes for the bake-off looked more liked science experiments than food. And camp . . . well, I dropped a flashlight in the latrine and got dermatitis from the “mattress.” I don’t remember much of anything from my patch-earning days, but “be prepared” was pretty good advice. What do I prepare for these days? Looking like a normal human being instead of a mom. How do I do it? With a survival kit, of course.

Items you’ll need:

  1. Ear plugs and a sleep mask. After being up all night, you will need these if you ever want to nap again. Complete sensory deprivation is the only way to shut off your brain and the noise that never ends in your house.
  2. Slippers. You will never leave the house during flu season, so you might as well have comfortable, cozy feet when you answer the door for the mailman. I have these wicked good ones. Thanks, Mom.
  3. Cover-up. Dark circles from a total lack of sleep? You know it. I’m currently loving lemon aid by Benefit.
  4. Dry shampoo. You’ll never have time to wash your hair, so grow it out and then put it in a ponytail. This will give it some nice volume. Congrats, you’re officially a mom. (Dirty Secret is the best.)
  5. Slouchy knit hat. For when the dry shampoo doesn’t cut it. Or when you have a giant zit in the middle of your forehead and your cover-up doesn’t cut it either. I’ve been wearing this one for a year. Yes, even in the summer.
  6. Big fashion scarf. Not only will this hide your boobs while nursing in public, you can use it to cover any spit-up stains on your shirt. Then you can use it to entertain your child in a 4-hour game of peekaboo on the way back from Missouri.
  7. Purse / diaper bag. I tried to carry a purse and a separate diaper bag for a day. I’ve had this one in vintage brown for three years, it’s still in great shape, and I get more compliments on it than any other bag I’ve ever had. Totally worth it.
  8. Netflix subscription. This will save you when you can’t take another minute of Dinosaur Train and you don’t want your child watching commercials on the Disney channel because she’ll be asking for Stompeez months after seeing the advert for it once. Once.
  9. Infinite patience. I’m still working on this one, but I am convinced it is the key to happiness.

What did I miss? Do you have a secret weapon? I’d love to hear what it is.

photo credit: liquidnight via photopin cc

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