This morning I woke up in a puddle of my own breast milk, like a contestant in some sort of unholy wet T-shirt contest. Talk about sexy.
Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in college anymore.
And I’m sorry this post is a little late today. I try to stay a day ahead with my blogging, just in case the dog’s barking causes me to have a nervous breakdown or the oven catches on fire again. As a former teacher’s pet, I like to get my homework done the night before, but last night we had play practice. And it was awesome. (More on that later.)
Of course, taking two kids anywhere is like going on vacation or deep-sea diving every time you leave the house. It’s mind-boggling the amount of crap you need: 24 crayons, 3 snacks, 4 Barbies, 5 diapers, 15 wipes, 1 binky, 1 bottle, 2 pairs of extra big girl undies, and a partridge in a pear tree. I should charge them an excess baggage fee; they can pay me in sleep. On the plus side, I don’t have to do much weight training since I am a human pack mule.
But yes! I had the most amazing time at rehearsal, conversing with Brian and my smart and talented friends about a great play. I felt like a normal person. It was totally shiny.
Ugh. I’m leaking. Note to self: Always remember to wear nursing pads to rehearsal. Toilet paper sticks.
Whoa. I just totally crashed. I was feeling all energized this morning after six hours of continous sleep (what?!), but I think it was a fake-out. Yeah. It was definitely a fake-out. I’m on my second (or third? I don’t know) cup of coffee, but I kinda can’t see anymore. I should probably go. But before I do that, I want to thank those of you who sent me love and positive feedback this week on MAB LIBS: Mark II. I’m glad that you’re enjoying my new direction. It’s been liberating to take the emergency brake off my crazy and go joyriding with all y’all. (I don’t think I’m actually going off the deep end, but don’t quote me on that.) For those of you who may not enjoy my sick sense of humor, I understand that haters gonna hate. I love you anyway.
See you tomorrow.
*I know these are lyrics from “Like a Virgin.” I like to imagine it’s the name of an ambulance-chasing law firm instead.