mommyhood

All This Happiness

April 8, 2010

I admit that I didn’t get it. I really didn’t get it. I confess that I found screaming, running children to be so obnoxious that they often swayed me over to the maybe-I-shouldn’t-have-kids side of the argument. (Be clear, however, I always gave my subway seat to pregnant women and ladies with kids and strollers. You should, too.) This made me think, “What if I don’t like kids?” I reasoned that I must be like Miranda on “Sex and the City,” who didn’t like any kids other than her own. I also felt that I didn’t know how to talk to kids, so I just talked to them like they’re adults. Strangely, the more time I spend around kids, the more they seem to like this approach. Occasionally, their parents don’t know what to make of it, but that seldom happens. Maybe I am good with kids? Huh.

I also didn’t get it when people said that having a child was and is the single greatest thing ever to happen to them. I could only think, “Really? What about your career? Yourself? Maybe you’re justifying your decision a little?” So, so cynical, I was. For as much as I love singing, and I do, the happiness I derive from performance is simply not the same as the happiness I feel when Scarlett laughs, hugs me or smiles at me. It is happiness on steroids.

See what I mean? If you’re like the old me, maybe not. Yet. Regardless of who you are, my wish for you is that you will find true happiness in your life, whether in your career or as a parent or as a spouse. Yes, sometimes the best gifts come in small packages. Or as surprises.

I love surprises.

(photo of Scarlett by David Brobeck)

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2 Comments

  • Reply Eileen Russell April 8, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    I always knew I wanted kids…someday. But I also found some of the bratty ones unendurable and wondered if I'd produce a less than lovable child. Once I had my first son, I felt exactly as you've described with Scarlett. It was the biggest, brightest thing that ever happened to me. And even though there's a lot of stress and strain to parenting, more joy awaits you as she grows.

  • Reply A Stay at Home working Mom's Tale April 11, 2010 at 7:16 AM

    LOL, Mel you hit it on the head sister!!! There is nothing like being a mommy. BTW I always talk to my kids like they are adults, some days they are the only ones I talk to and if I talked baby talk I would lose my mind!

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